it’s okay to go separate ways

For the longest time I never understood how two individuals that once were so close could turn into complete strangers.

Growing up, I was so immune to hate.  All I can remember was wanting as many friends as I could get.  Back then, I never had any issues with that.

It is inevitable to lose friends.  It has happened to all of us, whether we like it or not.

I have to say, it truly amazes me when I look back on who I once considered a “best friend.”  Especially when I look at the people I surround myself with now.  I realized, those people were only in my life at the time to teach me a lesson.  It is as simple as that.

As of right now, I haven’t spoken to probably around ninety percent of the people I once considered a good friend.  I’m talking, girlfriends that stuck by my side.  Friendships that lasted countless years.  Of course, shit happens, and people out grow each other.  Saying that, for whatever reason, I was not meant to be in these relationships anymore.

At the time I would always blame myself (with some exceptions).  I’d spend so much time, more than I can fathom, trying to figure out what I did wrong.  Wishing that it would be different, and regretting everything that happened.  It was not easy to just accept the fact and move on.  Letting go is always the hardest part.

It was not until recently that I learned that nothing was my fault, I cannot fix the past, and knew that everything was going to be okay.

For the past three years I closed myself off completely; I never went out of my way for people.  I hated making small talk, and doing the initial “getting to know you” part.  So I just stopped trying.  I really only stuck around my three closest friends: Victoria, Chloe, and Grace.  Let me just say… these three goofs are the homies.  Hands down best friends for life, no doubt about it.  I can say that with confidence because they are the only ones who have seen every side of me.  Not a day goes by that I don’t think about them.  Love you guys.  But let me get back on track…

I had been hurt too many times that I lost trust in humanity.  Which is honestly one of the worst feelings I’ve ever experienced.

What burned me the most was a friendship that ended around this time last year.  It was one of those situations where this person decided for the both of us that this friendship was at it’s ending point.  I cannot begin to explain what it feels like when you invest everything into a person, just to receive nothing in return.

For those of you who have experienced this, I am truly sorry–from the bottom of my heart.  It is insane how much a single person can effect you…

To this day I am still grieving my old friendship.  While it was all happening, I was so blind to the reality of it all.  I was trying to hold on to the last bit of hope I had.  But then I realized…

We shouldn’t hold on to the people that bring us down.  Who do not appreciate us.  If a person wants to be in your life, they will be.  There should not be any excuses, it should be easy.

I saw this quote in one of my favorite books, Milk and Honey.  It resonated very deeply with me.

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Whether it be a family member, friend, boyfriend/girlfriend… I want you all to know that you will be okay without them.  A person cannot/never will be able to make you, you.  We are all living the life we are meant to live.  Friends come and go, but you are with yourself for forever.  So put yourself first.  Cater to your own needs, treat yourself out to a nice dinner, alone.

When I learned to let go of my past, new beginnings kept flooding in.  I’ve learned to let people in, and am now not scared at the idea of people coming and going.

We need to embrace the fact that we are only human.  So much happens in our lives, and change is a good thing.

To my old friends: Thank you for the memories that I cherish, and the lessons you’ve taught me.  From our experiences, I have grown so much.

To my current friends: Thank you for accepting me as I am.  I appreciate and love you all with my whole heart.  I am so happy I am able to experience this beautiful life with you.

To my future friends: I can’t wait to meet you, and am excited for what is in store for us.

Human interaction is a wonderful thing… It is important that we take advantage of each other, and create amazing connections along the way.

Cheers, to yourself.

Thank you.

2 thoughts on “it’s okay to go separate ways

  1. Can’t really say I can relate with this personally, but something about it just hit me emotionally. I’ve been closed off to people as long as I can remember and have a hard time keeping relationships going because of it. I’ve just recently been getting better with the help of some wounderful strangers that also came into my life just to teach me something; a lesson of sorts. Thank you for this. Love your writing. Keep up the dopeness.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for taking the time to read Kenny! It unfortunately is easy to close ourselves off and stray away from relationships.. all we can do is take what we can from the situations that arise, whatever they may be.. in the end we only come out stronger and wiser!


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